I Learnt to combat depression by smiling: Anu Malik

Music composer and singer Anu Malik has opened up about his struggle with depression and how he overcame it.

Speaking exclusively to ANI, Anu reminisced about his childhood, sharing that he was just 10 years old when he started “seeing the pain”, adding that he learned to combat depression by smiling. “My father was one of the most uniquely talented man. ‘Saarnga Teri Yaad Men Nain Hue Bechain, ‘Haan Deewana Hoon Main’ were composed by my father. Being the eldest, I remember seeing tears in his eyes and I went up to him and said ‘everyone gets work, why are you so alone?’ He said, no one was giving work. I started seeing pain at the age of 10. And depression hit me at that time. I realised I am in a world where my father is financially insecure, mummy is stressed out and I have to work.”

The singer underlined the impact of changing family dynamics on mental health. He said, “I tried to combat the depression. I realised that if I start crying like anybody else, who will take care of the family? I didn’t have the luxury to sit in a corner and cry. I didn’t have time for that. I just lifted my Harmonica (Baja) and used to knock on the door asking for work. I remember during that time I wrote few lines, one of which was, “main galiyo ka raaja mere daulat mere dil hai aur yah mere baja.” Many people use to laugh at me but they never had a clue about the depression I was going through. So I learnt to combat the depression by smiling. If someone use to say something to me, I would just smile at them. I never let anything affect me. You don’t have the luxury to even cry. You just move on.”

Revealing what kept him going during tough times, the singer-composer said, “One song motivates me. It is written by a poet, Shailendra-ji, whom I respect and draw a lot of inspiration from. His song ‘Chalane Hee Hai Zindagaanee Rukana Maut Kee Nishaanee Sar Pe Laal Topi Rusi Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani’ motivates me to this day. I am an Indian, I am a fighter. I believe every Indian is a fighter. I believe we all learn to survive.”

On how he motivated Alka Yagnik, who also went through a phase in her career when she battled depression and was unable to sing, he said, “When Alka-ji lost her father, she was combating lot of pain. I lost my father and mother as well and know how it feels. JP Dutta sahib gave us a film, ‘Refugee’ Abhishek Bachchan and Kareena Kapoor, it was their debut film. I am really grateful to Dutta sahab. He gave me Border, he gave me Refugee, LOC Kargil. When these songs were written, I thought only person that could do justice to them is Alka. When we use to call her, she was not in that zone to sing. She was completely depressed. And I convinced her and asked her to listen to these songs. And when I sang that portion, ‘Aisa Lagta Hai…’, I remember how she reacted the moment I sang it. She is a great artiste. I said., ‘Alka, come to the studio, come, let’s go, let’s work’. I feel that she poured out all her pain of losing her father in that song. And I think it is one of the best-sung albums.”

Despite his struggles with depression, Anu carved a niche for himself in the Indian music industry and composed several numbers that went on to become chartbusters. (ANI)